I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Archive for February, 2011
86 World’s Best Jokes (according to Hertfordshire U)
February 17, 201186 World’s Best Jokes (according to Hertfordshire U)
February 17, 2011Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”
86 World’s Best Jokes (according to Hertfordshire U)
February 17, 2011A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
86 World’s Best Jokes (according to Hertfordshire U)
February 17, 2011A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.”
junket – definition of junket by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.
February 17, 2011jun·ket (jngkt)
n.
1. A dessert made from flavored milk and rennet.
2. A party, banquet, or outing.
3. A trip or tour, especially:
a. One taken by an official at public expense.
b. One taken by a person who is the guest of a business or agency seeking favor or patronage.
v. jun·ket·ed, jun·ket·ing, jun·kets
v.intr.
1. To hold a party or banquet.
2. To go on a junket.
via junket – definition of junket by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia..
Were those officials going on a junket??!!
86 World’s Best Jokes (according to Hertfordshire U)
February 17, 2011This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”
Delimit | Define Delimit at Dictionary.com
February 11, 2011de·lim·it
–verb (used with object)
to fix or mark the limits or boundaries of; demarcate: A ravine delimited the property on the north.
Origin:
1850–55; < French délimiter < Latin dēlīmitāre, equivalent to dē- de- + līmitāre to limit
via Delimit | Define Delimit at Dictionary.com.
We tried to delimit boundaries in the ocean.
Fundaments | Define Fundaments at Dictionary.com
February 9, 2011fun·da·ment
–noun
1.
the buttocks.
2.
the anus.
3.
a base or basic principle; underlying part; foundation.
Origin:
1250–1300; < Latin fundāmentum foundation; replacing Middle English fondement < Old French. See found2 , -ment
via Fundaments | Define Fundaments at Dictionary.com.
The fundaments of Estates and Trust law.
Hamstrung | Define Hamstrung at Dictionary.com
February 2, 2011ham·string
–noun
1.
(in humans and other primates) any of the tendons that bound the ham of the knee.
2.
(in quadrupeds) the great tendon at the back of the hock.
–verb (used with object)
3.
to disable by cutting the hamstring or hamstrings; cripple.
4.
to render powerless or useless; thwart: Their efforts were hamstrung by stubborn pride.
Origin:
1555–65; ham1 + string
via Hamstrung | Define Hamstrung at Dictionary.com.
Hamstrung by federal prohibitions against lowering Medicaid eligibility, governors from both parties are exercising their remaining options in proposing bone-deep cuts to the program during the fourth consecutive year of brutal economic conditions.
Stalwart | Define Stalwart at Dictionary.com
February 2, 2011stal·wart
–adjective
1.
strongly and stoutly built; sturdy and robust.
2.
strong and brave; valiant: a stalwart knight.
3.
firm, steadfast, or uncompromising: a stalwart supporter of the U.N.
–noun
4.
a physically stalwart person.
5.
a steadfast or uncompromising partisan: They counted on the party stalwarts for support in the off-year campaigns.
Origin:
1325–75; ME (Scots), var. of stalward, earlier stalwurthe; see stalworth
—Related forms
stal·wart·ly, adverb
stal·wart·ness, noun
via Stalwart | Define Stalwart at Dictionary.com.
A stalwart American ally.
Dictionaries and ReBlog 